In the world of Mad Men....

So today I have spent some time alone with both Jack and Henry. It has been fun getting some alone time with them before my work is over. Henry fell asleep and Jack and I decided to color...but we stumbled upon this website and we decided to re create our friends. He did most of the choosing. i Love how he came up with reasons why they should wear what they were...here you go guys...




Kassie (notice she is in a dark club with a man. Jack's idea...haha)



Mallory. (whom I wont lie, looks like a sex kitten. I LOVE IT!)



Tasha



Myself





Jack

on a lighter note...i want to go to a Harry Potter Party with them.

I am sad about leaving the boys today...

If I Had A Heart from Fever Ray on Vimeo.

My original thoughts on Alaska

it affects me

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

i have a bit of an obsession as of late.

500 days of summer

yeah. favorite part of the movie.

the times they are a-changing

.....i lost my job today.

i mean, not until the 1st. but still. and i guess it wasnt a suprise...there was a 50/50 chance they were going to need me...and yet i still feel slightly shocked.

i mean, my life for the past two years have been these children. I have gotten so used to the family. the house. the kids. this life....it means i can do whatever i want now....

.....what will i do now?

i want to do something of importance. i don't care about the pay. i don't care about if it takes me away from here....i just want to do something that makes me happy. this job has made me happy, but it has been like a vacation. not an enjoyable one where everyday is a breeze...far from it in fact...but it has kept me from moving on in my life. making choices. living. i mean i have lived the life of a single parent for the past two years....when in reality i dont even have kids. im 23. i have my whole life in front of me...

mine for the taking...i just have to take it.

i sat outside for dinner last night. eating at the table on the patio. it was warm out and there was music faintly playing in the background....and i found myself staring at this tree in my neighbors yard. i couldnt take my eyes from it. It captivated me. because in it i saw another life. i imagined myself in a different neighborhood in a different town. in my own home. with a different life. there was nothing significant in the fantasy. no major landmarks, career choices, or people...it was just the hope of a new life.

im not disappointed with my life. i regret nothing i have done or havent done. i wouldnt change anything, any choices i have made, or opportunities i have let pass. it has helped shape me into who i am today. and although the time for change is coming....i don't regret this life. i just look forward to my future. whatever, wherever it is.

Today has been the best day EVER!!

So Gabby is here!!
She got here last night around 12:30am and I loved her the second she walked in the door.
She opened the door, saw me in the hallway got a HUGE grin on her face and did this weird shuffle towards me only to give me the worlds BIGGEST hug ever and then poke my boobs. My heart was hers.

I technically just met her last night but i feel like i have known her my whole life.

wow this sounds like an Ode to Gabby.

but i just was so happy to meet her. Like you and I talked about N, when was the last time we made a NEW friend? its such a great feeling.

so today we got up late and walked over to Hurricane Coffee. I was really hoping Roberta was going to be there, but alas she was not. Anyway we got coffee and sat outside talking for a good hour. It was so nice to just sit and talk and laugh. Get to know each other and share stories.

we came home and decided to do something i have wanted to do for YEARS now...we went to the Olympic Game Farm.
i hope to have some pictures up in the next day or two from it. it was an amazing time.

Gabby made me laugh so hard. she screamed at the bears, and fed all the bread to the Yak of all animals. (in her defense i rolled the window down and it stuck its head in the window and she panicked throwing bread at it to get it away)

we spent a good two hours there just laughing and having a good time. i hadnt been there since i was 7 so i was just as excited for this trip as she was.

afterwards we came home and made dinner. Gabby is from Hawaii and had never cut a pineapple. this made me laugh. so i taught her. dinner was delicious and a time for fellowship together. we ended the evening by going to applebees for drinks and dessert.

i havent laughed that hard in such a long time. Tom was the highlight of the evening and Tilly was so adorable. after Tom and Tilly left Gabby, Jake, and I had an amazing talk and i left feeling so blessed to have her in our life.

Jake is so.....calm. you can just see in his attitude how happy she makes him. how good it is to have her in his life. I have never seen Jacob like that before and it was such a good sight.

I hated saying goodbye to her...but i am so happy she was able to come and become a part of our family. i wish all the best to her and Jacob.

For Mal

This is so adorable!



beautiful sadness..

http://silhouettemasterpiecetheatre.com/blog/
(for you and Tiffany to see!)

ill find more and send it your way okay?

Halloween is coming up.

I have almost completely convinced Cole to dress up as Malfoy

I am SO excited. So this year I have decided to prepare early for this blessed event. I am trying to find a Dorthy costume for Amelia. and I dont know what Iggy wants to be. But i will look.

what will you and NTB dress up as, N?

go here....you will LOVE IT!!

matt?

i have to smile when i see this. I just have to.

Stay

this song was the song i played over and over to fall asleep at night when I lived in Cannon Beach...i lost it...i want it back...

God I want this soundtrack!

This is on the special features of the movie Stay. I watch this every time I watch the movie and remind myself how beautiful this music is.


If you haven't seen this movie...you HAVE to. its odd. Its crazy. It makes you think. But watch it again and again. you'll get it. I still catch things when I see it.

This takes me away from my life. It transports me to another place. It makes everything go away.

I needed to smile...

sO i have been having low days as of late. BLUH BLAH BLAH BLAH! Anyways, to bring a smile to my face I have begun scouring the internet finding pictures, movies, quotes, anything to lift my spirits. These have helped today...

I love you

okay. So a while back I saw this movie and FELL in love.


now, they have FINALLY come out with another one. I have been waiting for this for SO long!! I want to see it!

Haircut

Before:

haha. HORRIBLE picture of me...but a typical hair day for me none the less.

After:



I woke up late today and had NO time to do more than just wash it..but at least you can see the potential it has. I am loving it.

I can't help it. I about peed myself when I found this for sale...the wheels in my head are turning and i want these SO badly!!

Exhibit A
exhibit A
imagine the story you could come up with for this one. I picture him mounted about a mantle. ah yes..

Exhibit B

see now this one is a focal piece. You'd want this one displayed on a desk.

Exhibit C

YES PLEASE!!!

Bats:

now I wont lie...this one seems a bit creepier to me...but impressive none the less...


more to come....

i adore this

Tasha

it made me smile and think of you

my two favorite poems

“ i carry your heart with me. (i carry it in my heart.) i am never without it. (anywhere i go you go, my dear; & whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling.) i fear no fate. (for you are my fate, my sweet.) i want no world. (for beautiful you are my world, my true.) & it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant & whatever a sun will always sing is you. here is the deepest secret nobody knows. (here is the root of the root & the bud of the bud & the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide.) & this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart. i carry your heart. (i carry it in my heart)." E.E. Cummings, I Carry Your Heart



Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W. H. Auden

“ A woman should be able to kiss a man beautifully and romantically without any desire to be either his wife or his mistress."
F. Scott Fitzgerald

ahhhh summer.

how can i be nostalgic for things never happened?